WE USE ONLY THE FINEST,
juiciest courier vans to deliver your items as fresh and crisp as the day they were plucked.

THIS IS NOT
JUST A DELIVERY VAN..
This is a Shiny European Delivering Van, served on a bed of current m.o.t and valid road tax, decorated with fresh paint reduction and garnished with finest pine-tree air freshener.*

* May just be a bloke in a van.

AND IT WILL BE USED..
...(probably) to deliver once the site's online store is complete. In the meantime you can browse our saucy goods, or in our selected retail stores.

IN THE UK ONLY:
Please note that postage costs and deliveries are valid in the UK only - Madjester will be trading internationally in the near future, when all the directors are rolling around in limousine back seats and smoking cigars. In fact, forget the limo.

"IT'S TOO SMALL"
Mr. Bertie Ditches,
Pontefract.

"I DON'T LIKE IT"
Ms. Kelly Smunt,
Land's End.

"MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO THE EARTH WAS FORMED.."
Some bloke I shouldn't have asked,
The pub.

COMMENTS LIKE THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN, BUT..
...if they did, there would be a clever returns system set in place to make sending back your goods quick and painless. It would have things like: pre-addressed stickers, packaging, or maybe some oiled-up Baywatch extras arriving at your door with a bag of donuts and some vouchers for HMV.*

In fact, that's not very helpful at all is it...so how about you send it back and Madjester will either refund your return postage cost, or credit your next purchase by the return postage cost.

* May just be a bloke in a van.