WHY WE ARE SAFER THAN OUR LEADING COMPETITOR*

Don't be. When you buy, it's all done through a secure PayPal shopping basket system, as you'll see when you finally succumb to the Madjester T-shirt craving.

For more information on the security that PayPal employs, visit the PayPal website at www.paypal.com

In the meantime, why not hum your favourite tune while you browse a summary of the purchase procedure:

• You click a payment button on this site.
• Then you arrive at the secure PayPal page to process your transaction. (You DON'T need a PayPal account to use this system.)
• You complete your purchase, and an email is sent confirming your order.
• You are returned to the Madjester website. You lucky thing.

• You are more likely to have lungs than you are to be a victim of internet fraud.
• Most internet users are taller than a jar of marmalade.
• If you put the world's credit cards end-to-end, they would go for miles.
• Most internet fraudsters are hackers who use their magic powers for evil by spreading viruses in the hope they cause a global data catasrophe and get a mention on the evening news, and then the FBI track 'em down and say: 'Hey, Virus-Making Kid, work for us for a badillion dollars.'